Starting the Journey: How to Begin Getting Help for Sexual Addiction

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you already know something isn’t working. Many men struggling with sexual addiction feel isolated, ashamed, or unsure where to begin. You may have tried willpower, secrecy, or promises to yourself that “this will be the last time.” If those approaches haven’t worked, you’re not broken — you’re human, and help is available.

At Mending Hope Counseling, I work with men who want real change, not just short-term control. Below are practical, research-supported ways to start getting help, even if you feel overwhelmed or unsure.

1. Work With a Therapist Trained in Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction (also referred to as compulsive sexual behavior) is estimated to affect 3–6% of adults, with men representing the majority of those seeking treatment. Specialized therapy matters because sexual addiction is often driven by emotional regulation issues, trauma, attachment wounds, and learned coping patterns — not a lack of morals or discipline.

Men who engage in structured therapy (such as CBT, ACT, or trauma-informed approaches) show significant reductions in compulsive sexual behaviors and relapse rates compared to those who try to stop on their own.

A trained therapist helps you: - Understand your triggers and cycles - Build tools for urges and emotional distress - Address shame and secrecy - Create sustainable change rather than white-knuckling

At Mending Hope Counseling, therapy is confidential, non-judgmental, and focused on long-term recovery.

2. Join a Recovery or Support Group

Peer support is one of the most powerful predictors of recovery. Studies consistently show that people who participate in ongoing recovery groups have better outcomes than those relying on individual effort alone.

Well-known groups such as SAA, SA, or Pure Desire groups report thousands of active members worldwide, and men who attend groups regularly are more likely to maintain sobriety and accountability.

Groups provide: - Shared experience (you are not alone) 

• Accountability without shame 

• Real-world coping strategies 

• A sense of belonging that addiction often erodes

Even if groups feel intimidating at first, many men later describe them as a turning point.

3. Tell One Safe Person the Truth

Secrecy fuels addiction. Research on behavioral addictions shows that disclosure to a safe, supportive person significantly reduces shame and relapse risk.

This does not mean impulsively telling everyone or disclosing without guidance. It means choosing one appropriate person. This could be a therapist, sponsor, pastor, or trusted friend. I understand that it is scary but afterwards you will begin to feel the burden becoming lighter as you feel like you are no longer carrying the burden alone.

In summary, breaking secrecy: 

• Reduces internal pressure 

• Weakens the addiction cycle 

• Creates accountability and relief

This step is often uncomfortable — and profoundly freeing.

4. Commit to Consistent Support (Not Perfection)

Recovery is not about never struggling again. It’s about learning how to respond differently when urges, stress, or emotions arise.

Men who commit to ongoing support — therapy, groups, or both — have far higher long-term success than those who seek help only during crisis moments. Progress happens through consistency, not perfection.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re tired of cycling through shame, secrecy, and frustration, help is possible. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness — it’s a sign that something in you still wants healing.

Mending Hope Counseling exists to help men rebuild trust with themselves, their relationships, and their values.

If you’re ready to take the first step, support is available — and hope is real.

Feel free to reach out to ask questions or schedule a session. 

Email me for inquiries or with your questions jake.tastad@mendinghopetherapy.com

I look forward to meeting you!